NickHemingway.com/Comedy - Free Jokes & Humour

Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos

*COURSES FOR WOMEN*

The male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital status.
Attendance in at least 10 is mandatory:

101. Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
102. Doing Housework Without Complaining
103. Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
104. Going to The Washroom Alone (formerly Coping Without My Friends)
105. Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?"
106. Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
107. Sex: Learning How to Initiate
108. How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
109. Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?"
110. Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
111. The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too
112. Sex Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love"
113. "The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous
114. How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him
115. The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle
116. You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone
117. Honest, You Don't Look Like Kim Bassinger - But You're Acceptable
118. Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem (formerly One Can Is Enough)
119. Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World
120. Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook
121. Sex: More Than Just Lying There
122. Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours
123. Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases
124. Makeup: The Less is More Theory
125. Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

*COURSES FOR MEN*
Once again, the female staff will be offering courses to men of any marital
status. Class size will be limited to 18 as material may prove to be
difficult.

101 Combating Stupidity
102 You Too Can Do Housework
103 P.M.S. - Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
104 How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray
105 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas - Give Us Money
106 Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM
107 Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly Called "Don't Wash My Silks")
108 Parenting - No, It Doesn't End With Conception
109 Get a Life - Learn How To Cook
110 How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong
111 Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
112 Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
113 You - The Weaker Sex
114 Reasons To Give Flowers
115 How To Stay Awake After Sex
116 Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom
117 Garbage - Getting It To the Curb
118 SEX 118A - You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try
118B - The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake, Take a Shower
119 The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous
120 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
121 How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost
122 The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
123 Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes
124 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
125 You Too Can Be a Designated Driver
126 Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
127 Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works
128 The Attainable Goal - Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary
129 Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is NOT Necessary
130 Real Men Ask For Directions
131 How To Take Illness Like a Man

If sufficient interest is shown and qualified instructors can be found, the
course offerings may be expanded.

Submitted By: Anonymous...