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Bitter guys' ABC of Ex-Girlfriends

A is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped
out because she really didn't care for you you twit
she was only after your money and could have given
a sh*t about you.
B is for Bitter.
Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them
do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children
that are little devils and her hips get huge and his
eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get
fat and old together and then DIE!!
C is for Call ya later.
She won't. She never has before.
D is for Dumped.
Does D need to be explained?
E is for Eating like a pig.
Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not
hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice
place because you were able to afford a nice meal at
this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your
Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard
stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are
broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you
were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
F is for Friends.
That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even
stand to look at her.
G is for Gun.
And yes there is a waiting period.
H is for Horny.
Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality?
Well, you figure it out.
I stands for I still hate her.
Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers
me favors.
J stands for Jim.
This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ?
Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date
her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim.
Jim is my mortal enemy.
K stands for Kill.
That is what you do with the insects you catch and
pretend they are Jim
L is for Love.
It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two
people and is shared upon by both parties.
L is also for Lunatic.
Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that
actually believe in love.
M stands for Mephistophiles.
That is who she worked for.
N stands for Necropheliac.
She didn't move very much, did she?
O is for On top.
When on top she has another O word.
P is for Pill.
She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for
a few hundred bucks a month.
Q is for Quitter.
She couldn't last.
R is for Rich little Bitch.
She bought my love but I paid for it.
S stands for Stab.
Stabbing would be fun.
S is also for Steve.
Steve was the guy that was sleeping with her. Steve is a
bad person. Perhaps you should stab Steve.
T is for torture.
Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth.
She also tortured you with lies. She even tortured you with
whips and hand-cuffs.
U is for Understatement.
Saying you hate that f*cking bitch is an understatement.
V is for Voluptuous.
That is the primary reason you were dating her in the
first place.
W stands for Wine.
Wine is expensive. She loved wine. She got drunk awfully
slow though. After too much wine she liked to f*ck.
But after too much of it she puked; that is, from the
wine. Not the activity.
X is for Xylophone.
Because X is always for xylophone.
Y stands for You suck!
Remember when she yelled that at you.
. stands for period.
Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied
to you about taking what P stands for. It also
means you won't get any for a week.

(I have no idea what happened to Z)

Submitted By: Anonymous...