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Employee Performance Reports

The follow are actual excerpts taken from "employee performance reports" of the British Royal Navy and Marine officers.

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity."

"I would not allow this officer to breed."

"This officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't- be."

"He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction"

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar"

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This officer should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better."

"He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age"

"This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

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