| Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos |
| Some Perplexing Questions |
| Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with? Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing? If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together? Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? How can someone "draw a blank"? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? Why is the word "abbreviate" so long? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? What is another word for "thesaurus"? When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? Why do 'tug' boats push their barges? Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there? Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Does a fish get cramps after eating? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP? Why is FOOTball played by hand? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it. How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF? Why does SOUR CREAM have an Expiration date? What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of PROGRESS? Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients.... but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons? How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it? Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it? Why do we wash BATH TOWELS-aren't we clean when we use them? Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase? Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious? If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure? What's another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why do they report power outages on TV? What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? Is it possible to be totally partial? Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? |
| Submitted By: Anonymous... |
Home - Privacy Policy
Site Copyright �2003-2007 Nick Hemingway