| Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos |
| You might be a racer if... |
•you've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining. •you bought a race car before buying a house. •you bought race car parts before buying furniture for the new house. •you buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares. •The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance): 1.climate controlled garage with an attached shop. 2.Outside parking for 3 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel. 3.3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder. 4.Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site. 5.Deaf neighbors. 6.Across the street from a paint and body shop. 7.Some sort of house with a working toilet on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motorhome. •you measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased. •you hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "Denny's". •you sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop. •you look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment. •your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a new mink." •your children are named after famous race car drivers (and one or more of them were conceived at a race track). •your garage holds more race cars than your house has bedrooms. •you're tired of people asking how fast your car is and expecting to hear the top speed in MPH, not a lap time at some local track. •you have an immaculate car which you ride one day a week, and the vehicle that gets you around the other 6 days is rusted, covered with duct tape, and has a pair of Vise Grips holding the clutch cable together. You promise yourself you'll fix it right after this season, or when you need your Vise Grips for something else. •you have enough spare parts to build another car. •more than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call •you have racing parts in your cubicle at work •the guys at the local tire store laugh when you come in •if you can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends. •you're registered for wedding gifts at Street & Competition •your Christmas list begins with aluminum wheels and Carrillo rods (and your 'significant other' knows what these are) •after your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?" •you have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'. •you've ported your 2-stroke lawn mower. •your reading material in your bathroom consists of race parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, and 400 racing magazines, none of which have centerfolds. •people know you by your racing class, car number, and car color. •people know you by your "off"s. "Oh, you're the one that highsided in turn four last weekend!" •your first date involves asking her to crew for you. •your criteria for selecting a significant other include car repair skills. Air tools optional. •your friends don't recognize you without a helmet . •you plan your wedding around the race schedule. •you have your wedding at a race track. •you remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number. •your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you. •you complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop. •a neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn." •you tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and they think you mean the toilet. •you give out [your favorite racing catalog here]'s number when a friend asks for the best hardware store. •you refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One." •you look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see a "start" marker. •you enjoy riding in the rain on the way to work (or school). •you always late apex the intersection and try to pass few cars coming out. •everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn (not necessarily going fast). •you buy real cheap tires for your street car, so you can save $$$ for the real (race) tires. •you can't stand understeer. •you always want to change something on your street car to make it handle better. •you will gladly pay up to $6 for a bottle of engine oil. •you hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track. •you memorized the menu at Denny's. •you buy Gatorade by box. •you've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon. •you save broken car parts as "momentos". •you've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol) |
| Submitted By: Anonymous... |
Home - Privacy Policy
Site Copyright �2003-2007 Nick Hemingway