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Some Creative Uses Of The English Language Found In Foreign Tourist Spots

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in
the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in
the country people's fashion."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers
in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of
different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent
unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in
the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In and advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good
time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it
to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the
long run.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to so
such thing is please not to read this sign.

In a Leipzig elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 to
11 A.M. daily.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

Rules of the Road in a Tokyo Police Station:
1. At the rise of the hand policeman, stop rapidly.
2. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him.
3. Beware the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass
him by. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.
4. Give big space to the festive dog that shall sport in the roadway.
5. Go soothingly in the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
6. Avoid tanglement of dog with your wheel spokes.
7. Press the braking of the foot as you roll round the corner, to save
collapse and tie up.

Sign in a Japanese hotel:
Sports jackets may be worn but no trousers

Sign in Swiss hotel:
Do you wish to change in Zurich? Do so at the Hotel Bank!

Sign in Italian hotel:
Do not adjust your light hanger. If you wish more light see the manager.

Sign in Australian hotel:
In case of fire please do your utmost to alarm the hall porter.

Sign in French hotel:
In the event of fire the visitor, avoiding panic, is to walk down the
corridor to warn the chambermaid.

Sign outside a French cafe:
Persons are requested not to occupy seats in this cafe without consuming.

Sign in Egyptian hotel:
If you require room service, please open door and shout, "Room Service!".

Submitted By: Anonymous...