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| Jeffrey Dahmer |
| The man who killed Dahmer in prison is claiming self defense... He heard Jeffrey's stomach growl. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Jeffrey Dahmer's worst nightmare? A running nose! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Jeffrey keep the heads in the fridge? To see if the light really goes off, and So he could keep an eye on the beer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that he has a new website? It's at slash, slash, backslash, slash, escape. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeffery Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? You gonna eat that? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does Jeffrey Dahmer do when he gets done eating his vegetables? He throws away the wheel chairs. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Dahmer's favorite class in school? Homemaking... the canning and preserving part. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you have with Jeffery Dahmer, David Koresh and O.J. Simpson? A butcher, a baker and a license plate maker. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Dahmer's teachers think he should become a comedian? Because he was such a cut-up in class. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hear about the movie they made about him? It's called, "Three Men and a Little Gravy" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Pee Wee Herman? "Stop playing with your food!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Jeff had his parents over for dinner, his mom kept bitching at him, saying, "I hate all your friends"... So he told her to try some of the salad... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Know why they found a dish of noses in Jeffrey Dahmers fridge? He was going to make Dahmer-Nose pizza. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did Jeffery Dahmer like to spend his spare time. He had friends over for lunch. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What were Dahmer's last words to the guy that killed him in the fight? "Hey buddy, I used to eat guys like you for breakfast!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why was Dahmer about to move? He was running out of elbow room. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did Jeffrey greet his friends? With a warm handshake. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the chief investigator tell the crew moving the Freezer? Careful, if you drop that heads will roll! . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeffery Dahmer wrote a cookbook on Oriental cuisine... It's called --- 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What kind of soap did Jeffrey Dahmer use? Lever 2000 - For all your 2000 body parts! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was an avid golfer. Yep, they found a bucket of balls in the closet -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that he came out with a cook book just before he died? How to serve your friends at a cocktail party! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Jeff's favorite Twighlight Zone episode? To Serve Mankind. its a cook book...! its a cook book...! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why didn't Dahmer have better lawyers? It would have cost an arm and a leg. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How was Dahmer described in school? Class cut-up. Most likely to get ahead. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the new Jeffrey Dahmer fridge? Seats six and more head room. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What were his victims last words? "Hey, eat me, buddy!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you heard of the Jeffrey Dahmer drink? An Old Milwaukee with no head. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when his mother showed up late for supper? Gave her the cold shoulder. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why wouldn't Jeffery Dalmer ever give you a straight answer? He'd always say "let me chew on it a while". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Jeffery Dahmer break out of prison? He heard about the big BBQ in WACO -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Jeffery Dahmers last meal? A large pizza with everybody on it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did they find when they did Dahmer's autopsy? Jimmy Hoffa -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What kind of Shampoo did Jeffery Dahmer use? Head and Shoulders -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Jeffery Dahmers favorite food? Finger food. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did they find testicles in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer? Cause sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Dahmer have to do with Iran/Contra? He came up with the Idea of "Arms for Hostages." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Jeffrey's favorite bird? A cock or two. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment is for rent. It's advertised as: Three bedroom, partially furnished, roommates included, some assembly required. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear what Jeffrey Dahmer did to the last guy that made him angry? He chewed his ass out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that Garth Brooks did a Dahmer Tribute Tune? "I've Friends in crawl spaces, mason jars, and glass vases." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I heard that he occasionally passed his friends in the street. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Dahmer do if he didn't like his neighbors? He scraped them off his plate. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why didn't Jeffrey Dahmer like eating vegetables? There wasn't room for the wheelchairs in his closet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeffrey Dahlmer have in his refrigerator? About 10 lbs of ground Chuck. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Jeff say to O.J. in jail? You show me yours, I'll show you theirs. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do Jeffery Dahmer and Eleanor Rigby both have in common? They both go to sleep every night with a "face in a jar by the door"! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why won't the guys in prision play cards with Jeff? He always comes up with an extra hand. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between Jeff and Playboy magazine? Playboy magazine can take a good beating in the bathroom. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference Between Jeff and O.J. Simpson? Jeff had proper etiquitte... he used a FORK and a knife. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They just released a new film about and idiot and a cannibal. It's called "Dumb and Dahmer"! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jefferey Dahmer blamed his landlord... Said he had been charging him an arm and a leg for rent. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer had written a cookbook? Its called, "How to serve your friends at a cocktail party" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite food? Beans and Frank. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Jeffery Dahmer prefer eating his victims? Because a sandwich is a sandwich, but a man-wich is a meal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why was Jeffery Dahmer killed in prison? He disagreed with one of his meals. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did Dahmer say when the cops came to arrest him? "Come on guys, have a heart!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Jeffery Dahmer keep a blender on his porch? He liked to greet his guests with a warm handshake. |
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