a man walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. all the people go crazy.
"what are you doing with that in here"
"It's ok, it's completely trained, watch"
The man put the crocodile on the bar opened it's mouth, put his p*nis in and smashed a pint glass over its head.
"look it didn't even bite"
the man looked at an old lady and said
"do you want a go"
"ok but dont hit me so hard with the pint glass