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| People Who Should Be Phased Out |
| Guys who always harmonize the last few notes of "Happy Birthday." People over 40 who can't put on reading glasses without making self-conscious remarks about their advancing age. Guys who wink when their kidding. Men who propose marriage on the giant TV screen at a sports stadium. Guys in their fifties who flash me the peace sign and really mean it. People with a small patch of natural white hair who thinks it makes them look interesting. Guys with creases in their jeans. People who know a lot of prayers by heart. A celebrity couple who adopt a Third-World baby and call it Rain Forest. Guys who wear suits all day and think an earring makes them cool at night. Old people who tell me what the weather used to be where they used to live. Men who have one long, uninterrupted eyebrow. Guys who wink and give me the peace sign simultaneously. People who say, "Knock knock," when entering a room and, "Beep beep," when someone is in their path. Fat guys who laugh at everything. People who have memorized a lot of TV-show theme songs and are really proud of it. Women who think it's really cute to have first names consisting solely of initials. People who give their house or car a name. People who give their genitals a name. Guys who can juggle, but only a little bit. Actors who drive race cars. Men who wear loafers without socks. Especially if they have creases in their jeans. Athletes and coaches who give more than a hundred percent. Guys who still smell like their soap in the late afternoon. Blind people who don't want any help. Guys who wear watches on the inside of their wrists. Any man who wears a suit and tie to a ballgame. Guys who flash me the thumbs-up sign. Especially if they're winking and making the peace sign with the other hand. |
| Submitted By: Anonymous... |
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