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| A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you." *~*~*~*~* "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. *~*~*~*~* He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded. *~*~*~*~* On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere. Written just below it "I do not." *~*~*~*~* He said - Should we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. *~*~*~*~* He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror! *~*~*~*~* A couple who's been married for over 20 years were having a fight in the car during a trip for a holiday. After arguing for a moment, they decided to quit talking and silence ruled. Then after a few minutes, they passed some pigs in a farm, all making horrible noises. The wife looks at her husband and gives a sinister grin and says, "Relatives of yours?" The husband replied "Yep, in-laws |
| Submitted By: Anonymous... |
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