Tom Brokaw: "My favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says 'First Iraq, then France'."
Jay Leno: "The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France."
Dave Letterman: "France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rolling through Paris with a German Flag on it."
Why are all the highways in France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade!!!
Dennis Miller: "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo.: "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
Blunt again: "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day - the description was: 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
And even an unwitting French President Jacques Chirac: "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in World War II? And that's because it was raining," said John Xereas, manager of the DC Improv.
According to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld: "Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion."