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| Yo Momma Jokes |
| *Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up *Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN" *Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. *Yo momma so fat we're in her right now *Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise *Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone *Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors *Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her... *Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world *Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy *Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! *Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! *Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" *Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" *Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized *Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway *Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller *Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets *Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th *Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too *Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" *Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! *Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" *Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. *Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. *Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. *Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! *Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! *Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! *Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! *Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! *Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... *Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. *Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! *Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! *Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to f*ck her! *Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side! *Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! *Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! *Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose. *Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! *Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! *Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! *Yo momma so fat when she bunji jumps she goes straight to hell! *Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! *Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! *Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! *Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! *Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! *Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! *Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! *Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! *Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! *Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! *Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! *Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! *Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! *Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car! *Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! *Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! *Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping *Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep. *Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. *Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. *Yo momma so fat she influences the tides. *Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. *Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. *Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. *Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her *Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. *Yo momma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. *Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through *Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. *Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. *Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. *Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket. *Yo momma so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back! *Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth *Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures *Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. *Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. *Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. *Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse. *Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. *Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean. *Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. *Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" *Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! *Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. *Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!! *Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. *Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes *Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends *Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon *Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read *Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind *Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! *Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! *Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! *Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! *Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! *Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! *Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! *Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. *Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911" *Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." *Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. *Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. *Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. *Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. *Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. *Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. *Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. *Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." *Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. *Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! *Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! *Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! *Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. *Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. *Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. *Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. *Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. *Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics." *Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. *Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. *Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." *Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. *Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." *Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. *Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower *Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. *Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck *Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. *Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras *Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her *Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. *Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?" *Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. *Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. *Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. *Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. *Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote! *Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! *Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! *Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! *Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! *Yo momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it! *Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! *Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life *Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. *Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. *Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. *Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. *Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. *Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. *Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! *Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! *Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' *Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. *Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! *Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! *Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. *Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. *Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. *Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. *Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. *Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. *Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. *Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". *Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." *Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! *Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! *Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" *Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. *Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. *Yo momma so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. *Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. *Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." *Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. *Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. *Yo momma so short she poses for trophies! *Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! *Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. *Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb. *Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed. *Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt *Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! *Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. *Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach *Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left. *Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave *Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. *Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape. *Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off ~<3~*Jess*~<3~ |
| Submitted By: Anonymous... |
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