NickHemingway.com/Comedy - Free Jokes & Humour

Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos

Need A Beer

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town to tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies.

So he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife says, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens
the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer- brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India...even Kitsilano Light.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that
he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie, but the bar, you know... the frozen glass..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" And she takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise, OK?

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" And she opens the
oven and takes out dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But, sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..."

"You want some dirty words, cutie pie? Here: SIT THE F*CK
DOWN, DRINK YOUR F*CKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*CKIN'
MUG AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN' SNACKS. YOU AIN"T GOING TO
THE F*CKIN' BAR! GOT IT, A*SHOLE?!"

Submitted By: Anonymous...