For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
affection for the way computers have enhanced our
lives:
At a recent computer exposition (COMDEX), Bill
Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated:
"If General Motors had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press
release stating:
"If General Motors had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the
road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the
side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
before you could continue. For some reason, you
would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a
left turn would cause your car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have
to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and
twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single
"General Protection Fault" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?"
before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your
car would lock you out and refuse to let you in
until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.
9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to
turn the engine off.