Calorie counter (for sexual activities)
REMOVING CLOTHES:
With partners consent..........12
Without partner’s consent.....187
UNHOOKING BRA:
Using two calm hands............7
Using one trembling hand.......36
Lifting partner................15
Dragging partner on floor......16
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS:
For normal healthy man..........2.5
Losing erection................14
Searching for it..............115
PUTTING ON CONDOM:
With erection...................1.5
Without erection..............300
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM:
If the women who does it is
Experienced.....................6
Inexperienced..................73
If a man does it .............680
(Add 5 calories for retrieving it from across the room.)
Large birds.....................7
Small birds.....................3
Earth moved....................30
PULLING OUT
After orgasm....................1/2
few moments before orgasm..500
For women.......................3
For men .......................72
Sex on your lunch hour..........3
Putting it on expense account..20
AGGRAVATION:
Partner insists on cuddling the dog
during foreplay................14
Partner visits bathroom for 7th
time...........................10
Partner taking phone calls......7
Partner making phone calls.....40
GETTING CAUGHT:
By your partners spouse........60
By your spouse................100
Trying to explain..............55
Trying to remain calm.........100
Leaping out of bed.............75
Getting dressed in one motion.500
Thanking partner quickly........2