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Liz Taylor

Liz Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. "I have met the man of my dreams, finally, the love of my life !" she announces to the surgeon, "But I need you to help me with a small problem. This man is only 18 years old, I am truly head over heels in love with him, and don't want to disappoint him in any way, so I want you to make my vagina look like that of an 18 year old."

The surgeon tells Liz of the delicate situations involved with this operation, but does finally agree to performing the said operation.

"But one thing" Liz says "you have to swear to me that no one knows about this operation, that no magazines or tabloids hear about it!"

"I swear Liz" the surgeon replies.

The big day arrives, Liz goes under the knife, the operation goes text book perfect and she is moved to a recovery room. Upon regaining consciousness, Liz's eyes focus on three huge floral arrangements at the foot of her bed. As the surgeon enters the room to check on her, Liz bursts into tears.

"How could you do this to me !!! You swore that not a soul would hear of this operation!!! "

"Now, now Liz, I didn't tell a soul. The first arrangement is from me. I've been your friend, as much as your surgeon for the past 10 years, I just wanted to make you feel good. The second arrangement is from the anesthesiologist, he's gay, he's one of your biggest fans, and I thought it was okay, since he's worked side by side with me on your operation."

Liz's eyes gazed over to the third arrangement, pointing her finger ,"And who sent those?"

"Oh yeah" the surgeon replied. "Those are from a guy in the burns unit, he wanted to thank you for his new ears".

"What?"

"Exactly what I said. Your child doesn't have a body, or a face. In fact, your child is only a very, very big ear."

"Oh my God! This is terrible! Well, it's my child, and I'll love it. I'll learn all the lullabies in the world to sing to it."

"Mrs. Smith, one last thing.... Unfortunately, your child is deaf."

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