NickHemingway.com/Comedy - Free Jokes & Humour

Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos

Ironic Happenings

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by
killer whales.

2. A UM psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order
to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling,
he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally
retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world
flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down (eight hours short
of the 400 day record), his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had
left him, and his phone & electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman in Illinois came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running form his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his
arm in two places. A shame as he had merely been listening to his
walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting the killing of pigs at a
slaughter house in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs (all 2000 of them),
escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the hapless
protesters to death.

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. You guessed
it, he opened the letter and said a fond farewell to his face.

Submitted By: Anonymous...