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| First Aid Tips For The Lazy |
| Symptoms Treatment Appendicitis Pain in right lower abdomen. Who cares? It's a vestigal Nausea, possible vomiting organ anyway. Give him an and fever. aspirin. Burns and Redness, mild swelling, and Peel away dead skin. Rub Scalds pain. Blisters may develop. vigorously to encourage good circulation. Convulsion Strong, jerking movements; Sit on victim. Laugh at him stiff body. Difficulty him until he gets embarrassed breathing. Bluish face. and stops. Eyes rolled back, gritting of teeth, frothy mouth. Croup Noisy, difficult breathing. Stuff a sock in victim's Hoarse, barking cough. mouth. Cuts and Cuts bleed and hurt. Call victim a sissy and send Bruises Bruises get red, swollen, him back out to play and hurt. Dog Bite Redness, swelling and Scold victim. Shoot dog. bleeding if skin is broken. Fear of the dog. Drowning Unconscious, pale or blue Talk about what a great guy skin. he was. Earache Pain. Possible dizziness Listen to one hour of country or discharge from ear. music. THEN you'll know what Possible fever. what an earache is. Fainting Pale, clammy skin, Before victim revives, take dizziness, shallow his wallet and clothes and breathing, sweating and put him on a bus to Toledo. temporary unconsciousness. Fever Body temperature over Administer 4 oz. of 'Old 98.6 degrees F (37 C). Jayhawk' [cheap whiskey] Hot forehead. every 2 hours. Frostbite Skin flushed, then changing Submerge in boiling water. to white or greyish yellow. Blister may appear. Cold and numb. Pain. Heat High temperature. Pale and Lock up victim in walk-in Exhaustion clammy skin, or hot and freezer for 1-2 hours. flushed skin. Headache and weakness. Possible nausea. Insect Bites Pain and redness at the Capture insect and mash to and Stings site of the sting or bite. paste. Dissolve in one cup Possible allergic reactions of milk and have victim such as shock or difficulty drink. breathing. Nosebleed Profuse bleeding from the Apply tourniquet to victim's nose. neck. Poisoning Symptoms vary. Throat or Give 1 tbsp lye in ammonia stomach pains. Mouth burns. solution to flush system. Vomiting. Drowsiness. Shock Victim pale and weak. Grasp victim firmly by the Clammy skin, perspiration on shoulders and shake, upper lip and forehead. shouting, "Snap out of it!" Pulse rate and breathing rate are increased. Stroke Unconscious. Heavy Kiss patient goodbye. It's breathing. Apparent all over. weakness in face or limbs on one side of body. Inability to speak. Sunburn Redness, mild swelling, and Remove reddened skin with pain. Possible blisters. sandpaper. Soak affected area in alcohol. Swallowing Dangerous when in air Shout, "Hey, idiot, spit Foriegn passages. Voilent coughing that out! Whatsa matter Bodies and choking. Bluish facial with you!" discoloration. Breathing may stop. Toothache Pain. Tooth is sensitive Alternate administration of to hot and cold food and hot coffee and ice cream. fluids. |
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