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| Veni, Vidi, Owie! -- I Came, I Saw, I Hurt Myself If there's one thing I hate, it's a proctologist with poor depth perception. My doctor sent me a bill with a note that said it was now one year old. So I returned it with a note that said, "Happy Birthday." I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. A doctor says to his patient, "I have good news and bad news... The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac." ----- A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient." ----- I went to see my doctor, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up...What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." ----- "Doctor, I'm having that dream again," said a patient. "Oh?" The shrink replies. "Which one?" "The one where I'm into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality. Should I be worried or am I beating a dead horse?" |
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