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Beer Quotes

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
* Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
* Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
* Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
* Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Catherine Zandonella

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
* Winston Churchill's reply

Sir, you are drunk.
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
Yes, and you, madam, are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober.
* Winston Churchill's reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
* David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
* Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
* Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
* Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
* Humphrey Bogart

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
* Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
* Kaiser Wilhelm

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
* Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
* George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
* Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.
* For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* Dean Martin

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