NickHemingway.com/Comedy - Free Jokes & Humour

Home | Newest Jokes | Funny Pictures | Funny Videos

20 Lashes

Leeds Fan, a Manc and a Liverpool fan were all in Saudi Arabia,
sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police
rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence
in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught
consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers,
they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life
imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could
be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly
said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each
of you one wish before your whipping."

The Leeds fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he
thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my
back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went
through.
The Leeds fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain
when the punishment was done.

The Manc was next up (he almost finished a half a bottle), and
after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under
my dress" But even two pillows & 1 dress could only take 15 lashes
before the whip went through again.

The Liverpudlian was the last one up (he had finished off the
crate), but before the Liverpudlian could say anything, the Sheikh turned to
him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city
has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city
and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The
Liverpudlian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that
you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you
are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If
100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?
What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.
"Please tie the Manc Twat to my back."

Submitted By: Anonymous...